Ah yes, Exercise and drink!

You know ever since I decided I was going to being sexy back, I’ve been regretting it.  Is work and I believe if you work smart, you doh have to work hard. All ah dem exercise people keep telling me that I should not drink alcohol. You need to drink water blah, blah, blah!!!. Alcohol contains too many calories,blah, blah, blah.

I doh think it right that I should have to give up a nice bottle (I mean glass of wine) every now and then. What dis world coming too. My friend say he exercise so that he could drink all the wants but doh tell him nothing but it look like he done with the exercise part eh!

Jesus make wine, so why we cyah drink it? Mind you Jesus and dem used to walk everywhere. Yeah, they had camel and donkey but they did actually moved. Most of us sit up to 7hours a day and have a real problem just getting up just to go to the bathroom. TMI? Well you ask right. 

We, at Joyspirations, decided that since it April it would be a great time for the launch of our first new product for the 2016 season. As is our mission, we do strive for mental stability and an overall Zen way for life. These things as you know, actually needs work to attain them.

We would like you to just have a little break for a while. So for that reason we are now please to introduce to you, our specialer customers, the Water And Solid Total Eliminator (W.A.S.T.E) management system.

Now, I know I hide it well but I kinda spacy.  I am a Trekkie. Captain Jean Luc Picard is my man. The uptight demeanor with the hidden fire,  that bald head almost look like he have ah ass to grab and on top ah dat he from France too!!!!, ooh, la, la… Sorry! I see them people beam a baby out of a mother. I WANT THAT!!! I bet you if men had to deliver babies, dey woulda develop that long time. But I greedy I want it for everything. With our new product, thou shalt not require any more movement to get rid of any bodily excretions.  

For a small fee of $1000 per treatment you can be as immobile as you want and still look (and smell) damn good. Our process is 100% none invasive. No recovery time required. You beam it out and you go fill that space with a nice Pina Colada.

Join the hundreds of thousands who have tried our none invasive procedure and lived to tell about it.  We are here for you, except if you have any questions. If you do have questions please see our disclaimers.

Disclaimer:

Joyspirations operates on a WYSIWYG – What you See Is What You Get.  It’s full frontal all the time. For that reason we always list our disclaimers, so nobody could say they didn’t know.

• For best results, a minimum of 20 treatments is required. 
• A minimum of 20 treatments is required and must be paid for. Please see our financial analyst for payment options..
• Due to its explosive nature, we do not extract gaseous matter.
• The WASTE management system is not responsible for accidental removal any other organ. Is not our fault you lazy.
• Since we are offering technology that will not be invented until at least the year 3000. We are not responsible for any temporal distortion that may be caused by the use of this technology. You ask for it, deal with it.
• Your body may phase in and out of visibility as a result of using the WASTE management system. Don’t worry about that, it will make you look thinner. #nonsurgicalweightmanagement 
• Some individuals may have suicidal thoughts while on the WASTE management system. Fear not, we can beam that part of your brain out and voila! No more suicidal thoughts.
• If as a result of the minor lobotomy, you could end up being mentally challenged. This occurs in just under 99.9% of participants. You will be warned of this possibility just prior to out technician hitting the button. You then have 5 seconds to rescind you consent. In the event it does occur, is alright, you won’t know nothing about it. So you good!
• After 10 treatments there is a majorly minor possibility that you may potentially not be able to maintain your physical form. If you fall into the 97 percentile we will certainly be sure to mention it at the 9^th
• Due to our flee market style of business. Treatments are not refundable! Please feel free to file your complaint to the ombudsman at whatisaombudsmanagain@joyspirations.com.  For hygienic reason they are also not exchangeable for any other procedure. I mean is not like we could sell the fat. Then again!
• We at Joysprirations do care about your well being. At the time of your first treatment, we will ensure you do have a signed will . We do encourage this to ensure children of spouses will receive the remainder of your life insurance policy,  after your estate completed the payment for the remaining sessions.
• All removed material, will be analyzed and if deemed worthy can be used in our natural supplements.

Have a Wonderful Wednesday. Somebody loves you honey!

 

Madame Joy