Alright, allyuh know me as a patient and tolerant person and it takes a lot to irritate me. Well one of my very few pet peeves is people calling something by a name that is not the name ah the ting. Did you get that? Good, cause it even confuse me! Well my boyfriend have a tablet right and every time this man have a question about this damn thing he always asking me about his iPad.  Now at first I was like “Whaaat??? He have ah iPad? Wey he get ah iPad from. I thought he didn’t have no money? I will fix he tail because I want ah iPad too.” Yes, I will admit to having a slightly active imagination.

When I realize that he man talking about his cheap ass tablet, I would try to correct him and let him know that he doh have ah iPad he have ah N***s tablet (ah cyah name it eh because next thing you know the powers that be come down on poor innocent me and if dat happen oh lord ah go dead!) . I was trying to help the man because next thing you know he go to the store and asking questions about ah iPad and he totally confuse the clerk because you know them Apple people doh know nothing about Android. I such ah good woman that I will allow him to walk into the Apple store and ask his questions because you know you have to support yuh man right!  

Eh, as a side note, I feel it is my place as the sole member of the Secrecy Existence Theorist organization to tell you people that Apple is Skynet. Consider yuhselves warned, when them iTings come to life, yuh ass is grass. Jus Sayin’!  Oh yeah back to the name ting. 

Because I am so benevolent I decided to not just pick on my boyfriend, I decided to share my judgement equally amongst you all. I big that way! You’re welcome.

So to all you people who do the following:
– Call all black soft drink is Coke, poor Pepsi. Pepsi have feelings to you know. I like Pepsi eh but for Rum it have to be Coke. It just doh taste the same. Jus sayin’.
– Call all brands of tissue Kleenex.
– Call all bandages Band-Aid. Allyuh force Band-Aid to change dey commercial to Band-Aid brand and mess up the song. You know the song was “I’m struck on Band-Aid cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me”, now is “know I’m struck on Band-Aid brand cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me”. Lord I really need to stay on track.

Just stop it!

Read the package. I mean that fact that I does do it too is irrelevant. I am me and you are all wrong. I advise you  of your erroneous ways and urge you to fix it. I want to you attain that moment of Zen. I love Trevor Noah, he is too funny. You should all check him out. Lord I need some stronger ADD pills, cyah seem to stay on track. I feel Tulip do something to me that night I sleep by she. I shoulda never drink that drink!

It have a lot more  but i feel I should give allyuh a break. I cyah stand  dem people that does just want to hear deyselves talk and talk and talk. An allyuh know I doh like to talk much, so feel free to add allyuh own. I won’t judge! Much!

Have A Wonderful Wednesday!

Madame Joy