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Is Ruby and me again. Sorry Tulip Ruby and I. I know you is the grammar technologist.
Allyuh done know dat Ruby and I like to cruise right. Now I know that one day I will be there eh but ah not dey yet and lord driving behind some ole people is something else boy.
I leave work, yuh know that feeling when yuh walk out the building and you say “Yes Lord, I free” Yuh practically fly tuh yuh car or what ever mode of transport yuh using and yuh gone.
Ruby and I just grooving to some Hall and Oats. Yes Tulip, black people does listen to Hall and Oats too. Oats, not just for porridge and muffins! Yeah so we singing “One on one I want to play that game tonight, One on one I know I want to play that… ” This man on he lawn watching me and judging me just like Tulip. Yes, black people does listen to Hall and Oats. My eyes of defiance shoot back at him. I like that Eyes of Defiance, that will be my new superpower.
Now the speed limit is 40 and you know I always obey the speed limit, contrary to what Tulip does say. I meet this car at a stop sign, all good. Ruby and I still grooving. We make we left turn and the car turn left to. Not problem until I realize that this woman doh seem to realize that the limit is 40 not 30!!!! I mean 40 done slow aready. I following she because I cyah pass. Now I start praying “doh turn right, please doh turn right, just keep going straight granny” Yuh know the woman turn right!!!
So you know I still l stuck behind she! We get to another street now and she still refuse to flipping turn off ah my road…
I was stuck behind this woman for 6 BLOCKS, 6 BLOCKS!!!! Boy when I had to turn left and she went straight, I would feel Ruby jump fuh joy. Is amazing the things you pray for eh! I believe that God does send these people to test me. I think I does fail almost maybe kinda well all the time eh but I will never admit to that.
I think these drivers does do these things on purpose. Because dey drive like backsides when dey was younger. Now dey set, dey could relax. he realize the errors of their ways, they older more mature and figure, they going an cruise through the rest of they dey life now. I going an show de younger folks that dey need to slow down and relax. Well!!!! Tuh hell with that cause I not relax I just irritated which make my blood pressure go up which make me think of Tulip with she chuppid road rage comments…. Yuh see Tulip is like ah brainular infestation and even when she not dey, she still dey. I think she do something to my brain. You know like Hannibal Lector, when he paralyze that man and cut out piece ah he brain and he eat it! uuuhhhggghhh!!!! Yes like that, she do something to me. Well I doh think she eat piece ah my brain because even she know that even she doh know what will happen if she eat that. That would be ah awesome combination. I could give her the gift of seeing through my eyes. Now how I get from Driving behind Miss Daisy to eating brain ? See what she does do to me. Ha Lord!
Since my mother teach me better than that I cyah even send the Claw fuh dem ole people, sorry the elderly drivers. Damn that respect and responsibility nonsense. It does really stop yuh from being ah asshole!
And yuh know what sometimes, just sometimes!!! I want to be a damn asshole! No Tulip I am not one, never was one but there is always hope and when that asshole in me buss out, Lord help allyuh!
Oh look what a lovely sunny day. It’s just missing some Unicorns and a rainbow. awwww!!!! Let me bask. Oh gosh wait, look the Unicorn!
Joy!
Have Yourself A Wonderful Wednesday!
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