A few years ago a beautiful young singer sang these lyrics as “Age aint’t nothing but a number. Throwing down ain’t nothing but a thang.”  Well recently somethings happening to my body that force me to believe that she was full ah crap. I mean is only the flipping young people dat does sing about dem tings. “Throwing down ain’t nothing but a thang” Lord have mercy on my bones and muscular structure. Is a  blasted lie, “Thowin’ down” is a thang. Is a blasted big thing too. Gyuh if I “throw down” guarantee the some part ah me not coming back up. Den all yuh go hear is “I’ve fallen and ah cyah get up”. Now allyuh know Tulip go just watch me an laugh cause yuh know how she wicked.Apparently I not young anymore. Who Knew!
Yuh want to know if yuh ole? Here look some subtle hints:

1. When yuh get up in the morning and yuh say “ouch” and yuh didn’t even leave the bed yet, yuh not young nomore.
2.  When yuh go tuh sleep at 11:00pm and cyah get up fuh 6:00am in the morning, yuh not young nomore
3.  When yuh go out with yuh children and meet old friends and dey turn tuh yuh children and say “oh gosh boy de last time I see yuh, yuh was in a stroller” . Yuh not young nomore.
4. When yuh going through some boxes and ayuh pull our yuh old portable CD player and yuh start to giggle at the memories of it, then yuh child look at you and ask “What’s that?” Yuh not young nomore.
5.  And the piece de resistance, when yuh children ask yuh if yuh had color TV when yuh was a child. Lord have mercy, YUH NOT YOUNG NOMORE and dat is when yuh slap dem blasted gangstas fuh being damn rude.

Now allyuh know I does always admit when I wrong eh. Now it seem like I owe Tulip ah apology again!!!! I was feeling kinda weird lately, yuh know kinda light headed and memory lapses and the like. Well actually dem tings was happening fuh ah while eh but denial is a bitch and it will always ketch up to you. (Ha!!! Ketchup, get it! Yeah OK then).  Am… well apparently it turn out, at least according to this wicked nurse with no bed side manners dat I anemic again and according to dis nurse it have nothing tuh do with Tulip. She had the nerve to say it was me. Me!.

All dis time I thought that Tulip work some kinda obeah on me, fuh allyuh people who doh know dat is voodoo eh. It could be that she was trying an get meh back fuh letting out she dirty laundry. Cause what other possible reason it could have fuh me not feeling well? I mean yeah, I know I was anemic all meh life, and yeah, I know the symptoms I was feeling, I had every time I was really anemic but somehow I know is she. I still think she do something to me cause the other day when I wake up there was some kinda chicken head floating over me but den I really wake up and realize that ah was just a dreaming.
But I not worried, she might preparing me for the Zombie apocalypse.

It coming eh people. Just like Skynet. Keep in mind the names will be changed to protect the innocent, but it coming!!! Prepare allyuhself. Get yuh bunkers ready. I still have my walkman, so we could get the news! Just like John Conner man!

It might sound it but, No I not paranoid!

Joy!

Have Yourself A Wonderful Wednesday!