Hey Joy,
What is with this promise of yours “Joyspirations© Daily Advise:
Remember “Life is as you see it”. Meaning: the harsh reality you are actually experiencing is just a dream. When you wake up, if what you see is what you experienced in your dream, just turn over go back to sleep. If it’s still the same then just repeat until it changes.”
THAT IS NOT helpful! I’ve got some sort of growth on my downstairs parts and sleeping it off is NOT helping! If the DR can’t fix I’m gonna sue.
Angrily yours
Dirty Bob
Dear Dirty Bob,
Thank You!
Alrighty Bobby, Talk dirty to me!
This is indeed helpful There are millions of people out there who you act like they are awake but they are actually sleep walking. Escaping the reality of their situation. You maintain that cycle and it is 99.9 guaranteed to give yourself a full and happy life.
Sue!!! Now come on Mr. Bob,99.9%. that’s Plausible deniability!!! I still got that 0. 1 % on my side. Works every time.
Now Dirty, I don’t know what the hell kinda column you think this is but this is not Dr OZ and I am not Dr Ruth. A growth in your downstairs part? Make use of the other words in the English language! Really??? downstairs part!
Since I try never to turn away those who seek enlightenment. I shall all attempt to assist you.
Well here’s option one. I am a fan of gardening and sculpting and this can be a great opportunity for my Dr Dahlia side to meet my Dr Oz side. Here’s what we do; we can sprinkle that bad boy with some growth hormones and once Dr Dahlia say it’s ok and it’s safe, Dr Oz can implant that sucker right into your downstairs part (as you so eloquently put it) and sculpt that sucker to look like one of the most girthy … oops sorry… can say that in my column. Let’s just say girls will love you.
Option two just involves Dr Dahlia, we sprinkle that sucker with some groinal fungicide and just watch it disappear. Just like the weeds on your lawn. Get it weeds.. lawn… yeah never mind.
Follow any one of these simple steps and you too will attain happiness and clarity.
p.s:
A good friend of mine once told to me a secret. I’m going to share that secret with you Dirty. He told me in the strictest of confidence: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”
I can tell by your letter that you do have a fear of what, grows below. This fear is taking you to the dark side. It’s also obvious the fear is leading you to anger. You need to continue you medication in order to stop the suffering. The most important thing you need to do is GET OVER IT BOB!!!
Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!
Vnilla Joy
Joyspirations© Daily Advice:
You cannot know light if you do not have dark. Do not fear the dark. Unless of course you’re going to visit your cousin Freddy on Elm street.