Dear Madame joy,
I have been in a great relationship with a great guy for the past year.
The problem is that I don’t trust him. Guys have taken advantage of me in past relationships and I find that I am always watching him, listening careful to things he says and how he says it. I even caught him lying to me a couple times. He says he hangs with the boys after work on Friday but I don’t believe him. I call him to make sure he is where he said he would be. I even call one of his boys to find out if they were together like he said they were. I’ve been cheated on and I don’t want him to cheat on me because I really love him and I think we have a great future together.
Overly cautious
Dear Cautious,
Thank you!
Heed this caution… He’s gonna leave you!!!
You my dear are a perfect example of what we in the Spiration industry call a “SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY” (Look it up). You are giving him all the reason he needs to do the things you’re accusing him of. If you’re constantly accusing him of something, then he might as well do it. Right?
Men will back their boys, even if his boy has no clue where he is. He’ll never throw his buddy under the bus. Unless of course his boy wants you. Don’t think because you know where he is that you know what he’s doing. Where there’s a will, there’s a way and if your man has the will, he will find the way. You have no control over that. Deal with it!
Here’s what you do.
Deal with your own damn baggage. If it’s too heavy, lighten the load, ask for help if you need it. You said he’s a great guy, so stop hassling him.
In 95% of cases, a woman knows when her man is cheating. There is always something that gives it away. We just choose to deny it. Now the other slick 5%, that’s a problem for another day.
You need to get yourself a life so that you can stop smothering his. Couples need breathing space.
Give the man a day, lord give the man a day. Go hang with your own friends. Who the hell wants to be stuck with your miserable ass every day. Just sit and think about what you do and what you say, then ask yourself this question,
“Would I want to be around me”. I know my answer.
Hakuna Matta baby!
Follow these simple steps and you too will attain happiness and clarity.
p.s. You’re making future plans but be warned, if you continue down this road, his future will not include you. Just saying!
Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!
Madame Joy
Joyspirations© Daily Advice:
You have the power to become the hero in your life, so JUST DO IT!!!