Dear Madam Joy

I am ready to give up. After a 5 year relationship, I have been for single for the past 2 years. Maybe it’s me but it seems that every guy I meet is worthless. They work menial jobs, can’t afford to go to the places that I like to frequent and I am just fed up. I am financially independent. I have a nice job, own my own home, drive a nice car and  consider myself to be a good catch. Yet I can’t seem to find Mr. Right. The longest relationship I’ve had  since my break up lasted 3 months. I had to break it off because I got tired of hearing that my partner could not afford to do things I wanted to do. Should I lower my standards and accept what seems to be the norm nowadays?

No Romance Without Finance

Dear No Romance Without Finance
Thank You!

Nothing personal but it does sound like it’s you. Baby, if you were a such a nice catch somebody woulda catch yuh aready , no? Maybe they are intimidated by you, maybe you come on to strong. Maybe you open your mouth and they just want to run the other way.

Are you sure your looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Spend?  It does not sound like you are not giving them a fair shot.

It’s not about lowering your standards, it’s about being fair.

If you are going to brow beat a guy because he has a blue collar job, then you’re should invest in some Clorox, to bleach that collar white. At least you’ll get the color you want.

In no way am I saying that you should accept a man in your life who is not contributing to your relationship, we know they’re out there. It does not take long to figure out what kind of man he is. If you are hooking up with those no good, tag alongs looking for another mama, then it’s your own damn fault. You get what you pay for and you are literally paying for them. If that’s what you want, then you go girl! Look up Einstein’s definition of insanity, you may learn something!

There are men out there who would  treat you like the Queen you are but you also have to treat them like a King. It goes both ways. More money, does not a better man make.  Yes I know, that’s some Yoda speak for yah. If you know your man can’t afford to take you to these places on a regular basis, there’s nothing wrong with you treating him once in a while. Just don’t throw it in his face that he can’t afford it.

On the other hand, it’s great that you’re an independent, don’t need a man kinda gal. That makes you a perfect candidate for my new product. “The Heated Man Substitute Blanket”, available only in King size.  All you need to is take as much money as you want, stuff it in the blanket. Switch on the warmer and sucker fills up with warm air and  it is guaranteed to keep you warm at night. Available for the inconceivable price of 4 easy payments of $19.99.

The Heated Man Substitute Blanket–Who said your money can’t keep you warm. Please see disclaimers!

Follow these simple steps and you too will attain happiness and clarity.

p.s. Disclaimer:

1) The monthly payments does not include a onetime payment of $399.99 for shipping and processing and special adapter plug and other miscellaneous.

2) The Heated Man Replacer Blanket does not actually produce mannish body heat. As a result you will have to restart a few times during the night in order to maintain the optimum temperature you would normally get from a man sleeping by your side. This may result in a disruption in your REM sleep and can contribute to the RBF Syndrome all of the next day.

3) The Fiery Bloke Supplant comforter product may cause a temporary electrical shortage/surgeage which may result in the spontaneous combustion of said product resulting in possible slight to major injury, loss of body parts/life or loss of monetary insulation.  Fire retardant material available for one easy payment of $499.97

4) The heating of money can result in ink leakage, said ink is often poisonous and can thereby cause damage to your skin, sheets and possibly your bed and floor.

5) We make every attempt to ensure the sanitary conditions while manufacturing The Passionate Gent Swap counterpane. However we cannot guarantee that these strict rules were followed by our well paid minions.

6) To our knowledge no animals were harmed in the manufacturing of this product. Any bones found while stuffing The Auxiliary Guy Quilt, may have fallen off of your person.

7) The Secondary Dude Eiderdown may be use to hide your money from the Government however we are not responsible for what occurs when you are caught. Or the loss of said money in an unexpected fire that may because by your insistence on replacing the man with haberdashery.

8) Last but not least, Madame Joy is not responsible for any injuries or fatalities caused by using said product. There is no refund or returns on purchases, should you have any grievances please address them to the  ombudsman at whothehelltellyoutoreplaceyourmanwithhaberdashery@joyspirations.com

Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!

Madame  Joy

Joyspirations© Daily Advice:

Albert Einstein: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Can somebody say DUH!!!