Dear Madame Joy,

I am married to a great guy. We have 2 beautiful kids and a step son who lives with his mother and visits on the weekend. In general we have a great marriage, but the problem is my step son. It seems that every time I want to do something with our kids, my husband has to do something with his son. I have tried talking to him about it but he does not seem to understand why I am upset. Madame Joy, how do I get him to understand that he needs to also spend time with our children?

Mo’ Time

Dear Mo’ Time,
Thank You!

Tulip tell me that I am anti women, so I am working on that for 2016. Ok baby, since you did not provide much information about your husband’s his interaction with your kids, I am going to have to assume. And you know what happens when you do that!

If his the ex trying to put a wedge between you and your husband by calling him away claiming that his son need him, then that is a problem and your husband need to man the hell up.

If on the other hand, you is one ah dem women that does complain that men doh spend enough time with their children but get distressed when they have the nerve to upset your life by doing so. Then you need to check yourself and get off the man case.
You see, I had this friend eh and he was married to this woman and every time the man was leaving to go visit his children (from a previous marriage), she would have a hissy fit and start cussing the man and then she would start beating him and then he would have to push she off and run out of the house because he didn’t want to hit her back and then… well yeah… (yuh child ever do that to you? annoying isn’t it).

With that said, here’s what you do Baby. His son does not live with him, so you cannot get upset with your husband because he wants to spend time with his child. Include the little boy in your plans. Your step-son is part of your family now and needs to be treated as such. You need to include him in whatever plans you have for your children. He is their brother, an none ah this half-brother shit eh! He is their brother! Pointe finale!

You have a problem with the mama? Deal with it. You doh have to talk to she, he make that mistake so let him deal with it. Doh take it out on the child. Is not Prince Akeem fault his parents couldn’t handle dey stories.

Is you who tell me you have a great marriage, so I have to side with your husband here. Imagine you complaining because the man spending time with his child. Sit down like a big woman and talk the man, I say talk not whine eh. Cause when he leave your ass and he will, if you keep going like this. You only have yourself to blame.

Follow these simple steps and you too will attain happiness and clarity.

p.s. Fix it before it fix you. Chose to be happy instead of just being right. You both have to compromise. Just Saying!

Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!

Madame Joy
Joyspirations© Daily Advice:
It takes a village to raise a child. Well it used to, nowadays, you hardly ever see those creatures. They apprear to feed, then dissapear