For today’s throwback, i figure this would be more that appropriate. By January 12th the average person has already given up of their resolutions.

So  here’s some more realistic options! 🙂 

Ah… Resolutions!!!!

‘Tis was de season. 

Let me start by saying “Happy New You!” 

By now allyuh had enough time tuh break allyuh resolutions, so now is time tuh be realistic. Look it it from another point ah view. How ah know allyuh fail aready? Well other than being exceptional smart and a stable genius. It is statistically proven that only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year’s resolutions.  Notice ah didn’t go with the 92% failure eh. We on a positive vibes this year.

This year you going tuh take care of you. This year you are going to be SELFISH!!! Yes, I said it! You know when you fly, the flight attendant person always tell you tuh put on your mask before yuh help anybody else.  Well we masking up like V fuh Vendetta. Yuh can only help others if you help yourself.

So fuh 2020, I have some simple resolutions fuh allyuh. I will phrase them all in a positive manner. Remove the words “NOT”. Doh focus on what yuh “not going tuh do”. Focus on what “yuh going to do”!

1. Ladies invest in comfortable panties! – Notice ah use the word invest, yuh see the price ah dem things now a days? Lord have mercy!!!  Is inches ah material and yuh have to sell a child tuh buy decent ones dat doh hitch up in yuh. I not talking about bingobangs dat go up tuh yuh arm pits eh but oh lord man… Floss is fuh yuh teeth, not yuh ass! Yuh might have tuh buy one at at time eh! Jus’ Sayin’
2. Invest in some good pillows, It used tuh be that ah pillow was just a pillow but now is Mr Pillow.But some an dem tings… oh lord… the price… I was tuh sleep properly now. Again is one at at time!
3. Buy proper shoes. Before yuh go and drop $40 on a pair ah payless plastic shoes, save a bit more an drop it on some Clarks or some nice leather shoes. As sorry PETA!  Yuh feet will thank you. I hear it have comfortable heels but I never meet any yet.  Gosh ah miss Layaway!
4. Eat more vegetables, fish and grains. Allyuh know that organic is best eh but yuh know dat if yuh go over 1.5 chirren, yuh cyah over look the cost. Dey say yuh pay now or yuh pay later, right? The fact is most people cyah buy organic, so chose what you can buy organic and then work from there. I have yuh back ed do do!
5. This one painful eh, so give me some time… Reduce yuh alcohol consumption, but ah have good news, a glass a red wine a day not bad eh, it good fuh your good cholesterol, Tulip. Jus’ Sayin’.
6. Exercise at home, doh run out and buy no gym membership, cause yuh damn well know yuh not making it past February.  It have too many free things out dey that yuh could do. Start in yuh house. Get a pedometer, keep track of yuh steps. Try and increase yuh daily step count a little goes a long way. If yuh have tuh join a gym and yuh have want a partner lord doh get nobody who does prattle on like a parrot the whole time yuh in de gym. Make sure is a like minded person.

So now we have somebody who wedgie free, sleeps better at night with feel good feet on a healthier diet with just the right amount ah alcohol tuh say yuh not ah alcoholic. All ah dat just make you happier and guess what if you happier.

So yuh see being selfish does help everybody arong yuh. This guarantees that yuh will not only be happier but yuh go have much more of the following:

• Less slap yuh co-worker days
• Less beat yuh kids days
• Less wha de ass wrong with dat man/woman.

p.s. As usual these tings geared towards normal people. I doh guarantee success with #hooligans. Ah doh like tuh name names, so ah using code, #Tulip and #Black_Dahlia…. Well!!!! Dem is still ah work in progress, however 2020 is all positive vibes, so we still have hope,  we go fix dem!

Joyspirations© Daily Advice: Don’t You Dare Forget, As You’re Creating The New You, That There’s A Whole Lot Of The Old You Worth Saving!