I would like to start today’s by apologizing to my dear friend Tulip. It seems that she has taken exception to my use of her name on an almost daily basis. The fact that she doh own the blasted name is irrelevant. Is not like she is the only person name Tulip in the world. Oh gosh, ok. I apologize, again. She feel everything is about she but as we at Joyspirations promote peace, joy and togetherness, there will be no mention of tiptoeing through the Tulips or anything of that sort. Don’t bother to talk about Holland or Holland cruise line. I will not go to the Tulip festival in fear of offending her sensitive nature by mentioning something about the Tulips! Mind you I like tulips, they are beautiful spring flowers but lord they cyah stan up to rain at atall.
Today’s topic, the things that you didn’t know you didn’t know about your parents (is mostly the mothers eh, see I guess that goes back to Tulip’s philosophy about me and women… Ooops, I did it again! Last time!). Things our parents did to us as children that as an adult you realize, maybe, just maybe they probably should not have done that. Here’s just a few of them.
Well… too much Fluoride not good for us. I find out I was poisoning my children all these years. We are supposed to use less than a dab of toothpaste for children under 3 years old because they swallow the toothpaste. Apparently swallowing the tooth paste is not good because of the Flouride. Who knew, lord the amount a toothpaste my children swallow, they will have strong bones for life. dey bones probably develop enamel.
I think I going an start a class action suit against all these toothpaste making people for deceiving us. What is the first thing they shows us, huh, what? That’s right a toothbrush covered from end to end with toothpaste? And doh forget the curl at the end. It too cute but I could never get mine to look so good. So I suing dem for that too because of the emotional stress it put on me for perfection. It’s all part for the conspiracy. I shall contact SET.
Contrary to what our parents, in some cases our grandparents, tell us . Vicks Vapor Rup is not supposed to be ingested. I remember as a child getting that rub down and then that dollop in your mouth for good measure. As kids my siblings and I ate so much of that stuff that we should probably be dead. As an adult, when you actually read the bottle and see that it specifically said you should not eat this product. Do you stop and ask yourself how sure you were that your parents had your best interest at heart? I sure I could fine something tuh sue Vicks for.
Baby Powder. Uuummm!!!! Remember how it taste. Doh lie, half if not all ah allyuh eat it aready. You have a baby, you buy baby powder. Because it smell so good and so babyish and you love to smell it on your little munchkins. Now you see ads on TV saying that powder can potentially cause cancer. Lord help us. What we going to do.
My poor Guinea pig child. I did all of that to her. I will jus plead ignorance and blame it on my mother. They cyah do me notin.
You see Tulip I didn’t even mention that your mother do all ah dem things to you. You’re welcome!
When my children are of the age and they have their own bundle of joys (that is until the gangsta mode kick it). They will read this bottles and come to me with questions. I shall answer their question with a question: “Yuh dead yet?”
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
Madame Joy