There was a time when bullies use to beat you up in the school yard and that was it. Now bullies attack you in the school yard, and on the interweeb. Not weed eh Tulip!
It has been brought to my attention by Tulip that she feels I singling she out and being a bully . Apparently she does not appreciate it.
Now my mother was a hard working proud woman. She didn’t raise no bully so I take exception to that. Because apparently people (Tulip) putting 2 and 2 together and getting 22 and think I talking about Tulip simply because I use the name Tulip and because I know somebody name Tulip and it just happen to be Tulip! Did you get that? Good.
Even though I did apologize before and say that I was not going to talk about the woman again, it seem that I have faltered. If Jesus could forgive us then why Tulip being so unreasonable.
Tulip I sorry!!! Doh kill meh. I have to complete meh bucket list. An part ah meh bucket list is to stop talking about you. Even though i not talking about you and you always seem to think everything about you with yuh… oh lord sorry, sorry, sorry. Opps, I did it again!
Doh send that man to hide in the bush to beat me up, I doh have a high pain tolerance. Mind you if he look like Idris Elba (but just doh talk, actually no he could talk, i will tell him what to say), maybe we could talk an make some kinda other arrangement ***wink, wink***. That just may end up with somebody being naked. Not me eh, ain’t nobody wanna see that. Now Idris… well that is another story. What? Doctors recommend a daily dose of dark chocolate for your health! I just taking care of mehself.
Oh lord, Tulip doh call immigration on me, I want to travel and it easier to travel on a Canadian passport. If I use meh island passport dey won’t know where I am if something happened when I travel. The world only care about the big country people.
Doh tell meh mother, she think I am an angel (well I think I am an angel to eh but one should always be humble and I am nothing, if not humble) and besides she won’t believe that her last born would be a bully.
Doh involve meh children in this. I always lecture them about bulling and I cyah look like a bully in front ah dem.
Doh call the police, I was only 12 when I thief that chocolate and I end up throwing it away because I was so paranoid that somebody see me and God would strike me down if I bite it. I won’t last in jail. I too delicate.
Oh lord Tulip, I sorry, I won’t do it again, I won’t talk about you ever again (until the next time). I promise on the head of my… ammm… oh gosh wait nah, I have to find the head ah something. Oh I know my walking cane! Yes, it have a head. Nobody ever say it have to be alive!
I’m sorry so sorry, please accept my apologies.
Now this is an inspirational quote: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you knew!”
Now allyuh bacannalist out there, I not talking about Tulip eh. I never call she stupid. I call she many other things but Stupid was not one of them. I mean that would just be rude and uncaring. Jus sayin!