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Dear madame Joy,
This may sound a bit petty but I need your advise on a simple issue. I have a problem with people knocking my glass door when they come to my house. it drives me crazy. I have a doorbell, which is very prominent. You can’t miss it, yet people insist of knocking the glass.
I have asked my friends to please use the doorbell but there is one friend in particular one who insists on knocking the glass every time she comes to my house. She claims that she forgets and it’s just a habit.
Madame Joy, I know the probability of the glass actually breaking is very low however, I would like some suggestions as to how I can get through to her?
Ding Dong that witch go dead!

Dear Ding Dong that witch go dead,
Thank you!

Well yes Ding Dong, it does sound petty, but we allowed to have something that irritate us eh, so doh let nobody tell you nothing. I mean this friend ah mine name Tulip does irritate the crap out ah me but ah keep it hidden and nobody know about it because dey might tink I petty but who cares, you allowed to be.

Ok gyul, it doh have much yuh could say to yuh friend. Obviously she chuppid and she have no respect fuh you. You need tuh dump she eh! And dump she now! She up to no good.

As you know  at Joyspirations we do not condone violence. With that said there are some cases where a minor physical discomfort to someone else is extremely necessary! I have a few suggestion, some may come off as a bit drastic but it is not. It is for the greater good.

Here are a few suggestions (Remember: “with great power comes great responsibility”):

• You need to electrocute dat woman! Now hear me out, not enough to kill she eh. Remember at Joyspirations, we do not condone violence. This is simply fuh she own good. Yuh know dem misty things yuh does see in the vegetable aisle in de grocery.  yeah the one that supposedly keeping the fruits and vegetables fresh but it actually spraying bacteria on them tuh kill we? Yuh need to run an very thin one around yuh door.  run yuh little battery charged wire too and when she coming just mist it a bit so when she knock the glass just zap she tail. Disguise it under a wreath or something at the door. Now I didn’t tell you tuh kill the woman but like Pavlov’s dog she will learn about stimuli. I mean he didn’t use electricity but there was a bell involved!

• Yuh know them glass dey use in the movies? The one that breaks easy. Well invest in one put it over de glass on your door invite she over. Let the wretch knock the glass and when it break act like is the real glass. She will be in to much of a panic to realize it fake. Oh and make she pay to replace it too eh! I mean after all she break it.
• Tell she doh come back to yuh blasted house if she keep knocking the damn glass.
• Sit down, shut up and let she break yuh glass.

Follow these simple steps and you too will attain happiness and clarity.

p.s.The choice is yours now, we establish dat yuh friend chupid, now you need to decided if you need to do some carbon cleansing! Just Sayin!

Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!

Madame Joy

Joyspirations© Daily Advice:
We must acknowledge the chuppitidy of some people. Sometimes words doh get through and you just have to take things up a notch.

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