Dear Madame Joy,
I was unfriend on by one of my oldest friends on Facebook. You see, she put up a picture on her page that I thought was not appropriate. Instead of making the comment on her post. I thought it would be better if I messaged her. She got upset, called me and said that if I don’t like her videos/posts I can just unfriend her. That way I don’t have to be offended but what I see/read. Since I am the only one with a problem with her post, I need to stop being so judgy! Me!!! She put up a blasted skin up picture that her old ass think is cute and I need to stop being judgy.
Madame Joy, I was just trying to help but she took it the wrong way. The next thing I knew, I no longer saw any of her posts. I was unfriended.
I know you’re going say if she was a true friend that she would not do what she did. She would even appreciate what I was trying to do. I also know that you’re going to say that I should not care about such trivial things however she is an old friend and I would like to maintain that friend ship.
What should I do?

AntiSocial Media

Dear Anti-Social Media,
Thank You!

What? Now if you know what the hell I going to tell you, then what you writing me for? You want to take over my job or wah? Trust me it is not easy. Not everyone can play the role of an awesome online fake therapist. So slow your role, just saying!

So what if she unfriend you, how does that affect the price of rice? You could still go there, buy some rice, peas, coconut milk etc… and make a nice pig tail paleau. Sit and eat it with some pepper sauce (not hot sauce) and zaboca (Avocado for you foreigners, I like to be inclusive) . Then you send a picture fuh she just before you start digging in and just say… yumm!!!

That friendship is like a one person see-saw because obviously the equilibrium is not there, she does not seem to value it as you do.

The truth is, people only what their opinion. Think about it. If I have to explain it to you then you chuppid! Don’t think you are the only one that had a problem with it. Some of her friends just waiting for the ball to drop so they can laugh at her. Just watch.

I don’t know why people feel they need to air their business on social media? They go on Facebook and cuss you stink on Saturday, then post how God is good on Sunday… I mean, people wishing their mother happy birthday on flipping Facebook. Call the woman!

Why I want to know you waiting for a damn bus? You eating at a nice restaurant, you know what? I doh  care! I doh want to go online an see the damn food I can’t afford to buy. The only time you should see food on your friend’s page is  when they want to prove to their family that they can really cook.

Show some nice pictures of a function you attended or a place you visited. Share that with friends and family, not pictures of you in your blasted underwear skin up somewhere .

Yuh baby cute? Yes,  but lord have mercy how many angles you have to post? One is enough to prove that. At least get different poses.

New relationship? Great, wait until you settle into it before you start broadcasting it. Next thing you know, the shit hit the fan and everybody have to hear about it!!!

And oh gawd!!!! Enough of dem damn inspirational quotes!!! As if you doh feel like a failure enough. Now you have friends putting up common sense quotes, 10 at a time, that make you look more like an idiot.  Oh gosh two quotes a day, please!!!

It used to be that your failure an shame would take time to circulate, so at least you could brace for impact. Now… lord help us.

Oh I apologize, I didn’t answer your question, very simple. Three words. Forget she ass!!!

Follow these simple steps and you too will attain happiness and clarity.

p.s. Everybody have a phone but they doh call nobody anymore. Is a text, text here and a text, text there, here a text, there a text everywhere a text, text. Get it? Just saying!

Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!

Madame  Joy

Joyspirations© Daily Advice:

Look up the meaning of the word “private”. If something you are about to post falls within the definition, THEN DOH BLASTED SHARE IT!!!