Foreword: Ok before you say anything, I know this is not about me. Normally I seek to enlighten others. Especially the chupid ones but in honor of my dearly departed friend Tulip I feel I need to do this. When she come back, she will appreciate it. I decided to sit right down and write myself a letter.

Dear Me,
Until recently, I have been a semi quasi maybe kinda sorta  fan of the show American Dad. Then something miraculous happened (‘tis the season after all). I caught a rerun of a certain episodes and a fan was born. I am now a Stan fan girl. His words explain in such a simply elegant way, the conundrum of proper sandwich cutting protocol.

Stan: Francine, I’ve told you, sandwiches should be cut in triangles like a neatly folded flag. What am I supposed to do with this rectangular monstrosity?

Roger: Can’t you just pretend it’s an unfolded flag?

Me!

Dear Me,

Thank You!

Well me, I hate to harp on about this but it is the season of giving, so I feel it is my duty to give you as much as I can. This after all has the potentiality of affecting the flora and fauna as we know it.

This all started when Tulip wrote in about Sandwichgate,. Then Mr. Humble Hubby felt he needed to comment on it. It’s almost like Stan knew, now the holy grail of proper sandwich etiquette has finally been established.

First off,  Roger is an imbecile. No Roger, you can’t pretend it’s an unfolded flag. Why, You ask? Because I say so.

If an egotistical, opinionated, chauvinistic ,insensitive , inconsiderate CIA weapons expert can see the necessity  of a properly cut sandwich why can’t the average Joe, Mr. Humble Hubby?

Everybody sing “Halleluiah!!!”. It took a member of a top government agency to bring it to the world. Now more of these Joe’s understands the significance of a properly cut sandwich. It should not be a rectangular monstrosity and anyone that presents it as such, should be executed. Ok fine, not executed but sentenced to never cut a sandwich again and many lose a digit.

Yes it is that important!

A long time ago, I that galaxy far, far away. There lived those who dared to cut a serve a rectangular sandwich. So began the great geometrical galactic war. A war in which not one ship was shaped like a rectangle.

It was at this time that the great Obi-San Wichobi used an old Jedi mind trick to aid the rebels in their fight against the Empire. He gave them a new hope! (Get it? Ha! A New Hope!)

 Obi-San Wichobi : This isn’t the angle you’re looking for

SanwicTrooper: This isn’t the angle I’m looking for

 

Obi-San Wichobi : This isn’t the way you should cut a sandwich

SanwicTrooper: This isn’t the way I should cut a sandwich

Obi-San Wichobi: You will create no more rectangular monstrosities!

SanwicTrooper: I will create no more rectangular monstrosities

Obi-San Wichobi: Add 45 degrees to your cutular angle, too maintain the molecular structure of the force

SanwicTrooper: I will add 45 degrees to my cutular angle, to maintain the molecular structure of the force

Obi-San Wichobi: (giggling) The force was not strong with that one.

I followed myself and guess what??? I found AWESOME!!! Yeah!!!

p.s.  Incorrect separation of sandwich,  is the path to the dark side. Attachment leads to jealousy, always pass on what you have learned.

Thank you for selecting us as your emotional crisis advisor. We are here for you!

Madame  Joy

Joyspirations© Daily Advice:

Joyspirations© Daily Advice:
Incorrect separation of sandwich,  is the path to the dark side. Attachment leads to jealousy, always pass on what you have learned.