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Yuh know I consider myself to be a rational person eh but like everybody, especially (oops sorry, no name), I does have meh moments.  Ruby is working with me so, so she on my mind again! Today is a Tulip free zone, except for the time that i have no choice but to mention she!

Well Tulip drag me outside last week and out there we bounce up Magnolia.  Now Magnolia all smiles eh, but is not the kinds smile yuh does get from Tulip. When Magnolia smile yuh know yuh getting yuh ass buss.  But Tulip, well there is a reason why she middle name is Hooligan! Tulip Hooligan Throwdown. Watch yourself! Oh yeah, back to Magnolia. Magnolia tell me how I should be glad that Tulip push (I prefer bully) me into making the right decision.  Apparently Magnolia have some idea that I doh appreciate Tulip and she tyrannical reign over all that is and all that will be but is not so. I appreciate she man, I do. I thought I said thank you the other day. No? Well I did, I think allyuh just miss it.

So what that comment from Magnolia teach me? Well it seem that you cyah trust people with a flower fuh a name. #invasionofthebodysnachers. It seem that Tulip musta sprinkle some ah she pollen on Magnolia because I doh know where that come from. Then again the two ah dem so speechified that you could only take so much a dem at one time. So she on my watch list now.  

Lord sometimes it does feel like I ranting eh but doh worry, the feeling doh last long! So today I wanted to share 10 things that Ruby teach me. I hope they inspire you and much as, yeah well whatever.

1. Shocks… They really do serve a purpose. I have a road nemesis and I decide to take Ruby on that road and I did not hit meh head once because ah how high the car bounce.
2.  I really cyah park. I could parallel park the tail out of a car but swing in between two ah anything. Always too much on one side and it seem that Ruby cyah fix that. Tulip must ah do something to Ruby. 
3. Apparently a wheel alignment is ah good thing. Who knew??? It’s been a few years since the green mobile had an alignment I mean I take my hands off the wheel and Ruby keep going straight.Straight!!!
4. The anti-Tulip sensor I have around Ruby working good. Tulip is like a vampire now, she need my invitation to come in.
5. The rear view camera. Ruby keep turning on the camera when I reversing eh but I fraid I back into another dimension so I doh look at it.
6. Ruby teach me patience. Yuh see before when it was me and the green goblin going down the road I use to get bombastically vex with them chuppid ass drivers out there but now I cool. I just let them go by because if they hit meh baby, I will be forced to go all Tulip on them. Upon exiting the vehicle however, the patience thing just seem to evaporate though.
7. Ruby too smart. Is just a matter of time before I lock myself out ah Ruby, yuh see the dem smart keys, they not made for not so normal people! One day she go get vex with me and my ass is grass.
8. Tulip not usually right but every once in a while that is a smitter of rightness that does get scratch out and she seems to make a bit of sense but that moment do last long. See I complement you Tulip.
9. Heated seats not just for the winter. Yeah, I did it. I caved, I turned it on. On those cool morning when you driving into work. Just hit the button and feel the warmth. I find it should vibrate too eh, I mean it only make sense.
10. Is not me. Tulip always telling me I have road rage, but is not me is them blasted people out there who seem to tink the road belong to dem. Ruby agree with me.
11. I need a car boy, in his mid to late 40’s with that Idris chocolate body and a nice red, no white speedo. I want to make sure that all parts of him emphasized, so he need the right color.  He have to make sure that he spray some ah that water on him while the sun glistens off his body  an since I doh want him to catch a cold I have to dry him off. Oh yeah and he have to clean my car too! But with intermittent 20 minute physical quality assurance inspection.

I had a vision eh. Tulip tell me I warped eh, but I doh tink so.  It could happen.

I had this vision right, you know when you driving/sitting in yuh car and you just stretch your arm out.  I have always had this vision of a Samurai limb chopper, Master Chop Suey! Who is he you say, well he is the Samurai that rides a bicycle along in traffic and every time somebody put our dey arm…SWOOSH!!!! Arm gone! “Wiseman say keep arm in car or you likely to lose limb”. And then quick as that he disappear.

Well Ruby and I was talking and she seem to think I need to see somebody fuh dat. So tulip might have another inkling of rightness and a tad of common sense. See doesn’t that show that I appreciate she? You welcome Tulip! You welcome sweetheart!

Have Yourself A Wonderful Wednesday.
Joy

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